Wow. Had a great discussion last night with half of my group. I work with 7th and 8th grade girls and had mostly 7th graders in my small group last night. (The youth pastor, Bryan, filled in for a missing leader and led a discussion with the 8th grade girls.)
Our topic was pretty much body image, the physical appearance of people, and the story from John 4:4-30 which we read out loud. It's where Jesus recognizes that a woman at the well who has been married five times and is with a man who is not her husband - may feel a bit unworthy of love... and Jesus sees her for who she really is and shows love to her.
My girls and I talked about a lot of things....and then they saw some pages I'd stuffed into my notes binder...and we discovered the pages I'd torn out from magazines and printed from blogs - of hair, makeup, and clothes that I liked. Ironic discovery during our discussion on body image. We talked about how the more people focus on others (criticism, judging, etc.) and their image (physical appearance, controlling food) - the less time there is for introspection and focusing on the inner self and the relationship with God.
We have three parts to ourselves: body, soul and spirit.... and if all the focus is on the body, what's left to focus on the soul or the spirit?
After all, the body is not always what you notice about someone. It may be a first (or third) impression, but eventually, one forgets. Or I do anyway. I've lost track of the number of times people say "Your friend has long hair, doesn't she?" and I'll pause and say "I'm not sure!" because when I know someone, I think of who they really are (soul & spirit) more than what they look like. And we all know looks fade or can be taken away.... so 100% focus on looks doesn't help much less deepen a relationship with God.
We did talk, however, about not being sloppy and ignoring the physical. That looking neat and pretty has its place as well.
Some of the girls felt chubby and we addressed that. Then I mentioned how I'll see three high school girls on the track ahead of me at the gym and they'll each be pretty - but each will have a completely different body type. We all agreed it's better to focus on being healthy and strong and not on being as skinny as can be.
I knew this was happening but it was sad to hear that it really does happen in 7th grade. They all know girls who are starving themselves to be as tiny as can be. And a friend of mine has an 8 year old with a strong body she inherited from her mom... who wants to watch calories because her thighs are too big. EIGHT years old.
I really like these girls. At the end of the night, we all exchanged cell phone numbers and made plans to go laser tagging sometime and to go get frappaccinos sometime and play games. And of course, our Wednesday discussions will continue!
UPDATE: I took it as a compliment last night when as I tried to steer us back to the Official Questions from my Ministry Binder, one of the new girls said, "Awwww...can't we just keep talking?" So we did. It was all on topics anyway. They didn't spend the hour gossiping, texting or goofing off. They paid attention and participated. A dream group of girls? I think so!
Here are some photos from last night. [These are half the kids. The rest were scattered outside the camera range.] Youth Guy Bryan is making some announcements. I'm usually talking to someone or taking photos.
